No One Likes a Tattletale
}} A near dead Redcloak gets healed, and Tsukiko learns what it is like to be on the evil team. Cast * Xykon ◀ ▶ * Redcloak ◀ ▶ * Tsukiko ◀ ▶ * Miko Miyazaki ◀ ▶ * Two Hobgoblin Soldiers * Two Hobgoblin Clerics Transcript Xykon drops in carrying an injured Redcloak. Xykon: Hey! Stupid hobgoblins! Your Grand Poobah needs a cleric! Cleric #1: Supremer Leader! Cleric #2: Cure Moderate Wounds! Cleric #1: Cure Serious Wounds! Cleric #2: Cure Moderate Wounds! Redcloak: OK, OK, thanks, guys, I'll take it from here. Cure Critical Wounds. Redcloak: Wait...why am I outdoors? What happened to the Gate? Xykon: Some crazy beige bitch smashed it with a sword. Blew half the castle. Redcloak: What?? NO! Goddamn it, we were so close! Xykon: Tell me about it, I could practically smell the incense from my coronation as World Emperor. Which is really amazing, since I don't have a sense of smell. Tsukiko walks into the scene. Tsukiko: There you are! Redcloak: Ugh, not this again. Xykon: Who's this? Redcloak: The new girl. Tsukiko: Lord Xykon, I wish to register a complaint against this goblin! Tsukiko: He wouldn't help me with the paperwork that you asked me to give him, and then he cast Blade Barrier right in front of me. Tsukiko: And then he ordered his elemental to try and kill me! Tsukiko: Plus, I think he dropped a castle on me! Xykon: Redcloak, is this true? Redcloak: No. Technically, I just ordered the elemental to kill all humans, and then "forgot" to make an exception for her. Xykon: Oh, man, that's even funnier. Redcloak: Heh, I know. Tsukiko: Hey! You should discipline him! Xykon: Listen, newbie, we're the villains. We play rough. You didn't die, so quit your whining and go do something useful. Redcloak: Yeah, like go animate some of the few thousand new corpses that just got created. Tsukiko walks off. Tsukiko: Stupid goblin... I'll show him. I'll make the most powerful undead warrior he's ever seen from the first body I find! Tsukiko: It'll be free-willed and evil and mean, with cool black and red armor, and it'll kill him, and I'll take over his job! Tsukiko comes across the upper half of Miko's corpse. Tsukiko: Oh, wait... that's only half. I need a whole corpse. Tsukiko continues walking. Tsukiko: Ah, never mind. That's a dumb idea. Tsukiko: It probably wouldn't have been all that powerful anyway. D&D Context * Were Miko to be brought back in undeath with a sufficiently powerful spell, such as Create Greater Undead, as a fallen paladin she would be likely to come back as a Blackguard Death Knight, which would have been super-powerful and badass. * The clerics and Redcloak use a variety of the Cure Wounds spells, which heal damage: ** Cure Moderate Wounds heals 2d8+1/level ** Cure Serious Wounds heals 3d8+1/level ** Cure Critical Wounds heals 4d8+1/level. ** Redcloak and one of the clerics also apparently use one of the Inflict Wounds spells on Xykon, which causes healing in undead. Trivia * This is the penultimate appearance of Miko Miyazaki, the powerful agent of Lord Shojo who captured the Order of the Stick but was blinded by her righteousness, fell from her paladin status, and destroyed Soon's Gate. A major character in the narrative, Miko made 68 appearances thus far. She first appeared at the end of the first book in #120, The End of the Beginning. Miko makes one more appearance in the web comic, in a flashback in #1024. External Links * 465}} View the comic * 47629}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses cure wounds Category:Uses Cure Moderate Wounds Category:Uses Cure Serious Wounds Category:Uses Cure Critical Wounds Category:Uses Inflict Wounds Category:The Battle of Azure City